


737 Coming Out Of The Sky

by IncurableNecromantic



Category: 1492: Conquest of Paradise, Gladiator (2000), Kingdom of Heaven (2005)
Genre: Airplanes, Crack, Drinking, Gen, Grey Goose, Texting, alcobooze, because these people need more fun, historically impossible texting, horse-fanciers, king baldwin cuts loose and has the time of his life, leprosy, leprosy doesn't work like that jeez, siblings having fun, the Great Ridley Scott Crossover Project, what historical accuracy?, you know the kind I mean
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-28
Updated: 2013-10-28
Packaged: 2017-12-30 17:24:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 475
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1021377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncurableNecromantic/pseuds/IncurableNecromantic
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Baldwin IV is a very good and very put-upon brother and finds himself squished between a pair of unbearable seatmates on a long plane ride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	737 Coming Out Of The Sky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [skazka](https://archiveofourown.org/users/skazka/gifts), [ultimaromanorum](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ultimaromanorum/gifts).



“‘You’ve always been such a good brother,’ she said,” Baldwin frantically texted to his sister. “‘So gallant,’ she said. ’So sweet and indulgent,’ she said. ’You’ve always taken care of me,’ she said. ’I don’t suppose I could have your seat,’ she said.”

"And I’ll never forget it," came Sibylla’s reply, dozens of aisles up, in first class. "I don’t know why they lost both of our first class tickets, honestly."

Baldwin sighed to himself. He’d tried to be nice, at first. On one side, he had a man with high cheekbones whose only interest was a war horse. That interest was intense and unrelenting; even now the man caressed one of a dozen pictures of the horse that he kept in his wallet.

And because Baldwin had adjusted his mask at just the wrong time, the man thought he was interested. Baldwin was reduced to texting under his sleeve.

"Of course, Duchess could’ve won Pimlico," the man said in a slow and would-be luxuriant voice. "But I don’t race her. She’s fast enough, but…my horse does not work, you see."

Baldwin did not. Want. To know.

On the other side was Sibylla’s friend Lucilla’s brother. And like hell was Baldwin going to talk to Commodus. That guy was just…creepy.

Commodus snorted in his sleep, shifting over. ”Uhnn. Lucilla,” he groaned softly.

Baldwin screamed very softly in the back of his throat. He was trapped.

Another text: “Oh, and Lucilla’s up here! We just traded seats with another lovely couple.”

"I am dying," Baldwin reported.

"She’s a thoroughbred," the horse man said, "obviously. And magnificent when she runs. She’s…sensitive. Any little thing will make her react poorly, so refined are her sensibilities…she must be catered to in every thing, however delicate, as suits a creature of her…sterling qualities."

"Touch Commodus and give him lots of leprosy," the next text said. Baldwin was ready to take umbrage when another came hot on its heels. "Sorry, Lucilla took my phone. I’ve explained her stupid error and she’s sorry."

"At least send me back a Bloody Mary," Baldwin pleaded. "This is just…did I tell you about the horses? The high-resolution glamour shots?"

"Ew," Sibylla admitted. "Rolling a bottle of Grey Goose down the aisle. Catch it!"

Baldwin escaped horse man with an excuse about the bathroom and grabbed the rolling travel-sized bottle on the way. He took it into the toilet and locked the door, shifting his mask and pouring the vodka down his throat.

"I am the best possible brother," he texted.

"Absolutely," Sibyllla replied. 

Then she sent a selfie of herself and Lucilla. They appeared to be eating ice cream sundaes in their enormous, spacious seats.

"Roll down another bottle," Baldwin texted, and reflected on the somewhat masochistically cheerful thought that somewhere, Tiberias was probably laughing and didn’t know why.


End file.
